Dear Bill Nye...

Dear Bill Nye:

• Why on the weekends (the only days I CAN sleep in) do I go to bed the earliest & can't sleep in even if I wanted to?

• Why does my hair get sick-nast oily only when I'm sick?

• How does The Admiral know exactly where all the "un-touchables" aka "things he can't have [i.e. remote controllers, laptops, pens]" are?

• How can toddlers fall off chairs & couches without a scrape but when adults stub their toes it's like someone took a mallet to the foot?

• How do you make a bow-tie look so pimpin'?