Recovering...

The past few days have been a little tough for me. The day after Valentine's Day, I found out I was pregnant. Besides having massive withdrawal from my anxiety meds due to me quitting them cold turkey (ay ay ay, not fun. Worse nausea then pregnancy!), I felt great.

We calculated that I was around 5 1/2 weeks and I scheduled my OB appointment.

This Tuesday I had my appointment, where we wheedled an ultrasound out of them. Only to find they couldn't see anything. Nothing, zip. They started throwing around 'eptopic pregnancy' which obviously scared me. But since I had NO pain, NO bleeding and felt totally fine, I thought maybe I was just super early and they miscalculated my date.

Took a blood test that day for my hcg levels which were ok (around 4,000) but not great due to the fact they should have seen something with those high of levels. So they said to come back for another blood test Thursday.

hcg only had raised to 5,000 on Thursday which isn't good since they should have doubled if it was a normal pregnancy.

So after telling me this, they then said I needed to go in for another ultrasound STAT as eptopic pregnancy was a very likely reason and can be life-threatening if left alone. Eptopic means the baby is growing in your tubes, near your ovaries - which if left undetected will rupture your tube. People lose their tubes and obviously could die from blood loss.

So we called my angel mother to drive the 2 hours down here to keep an eye on The Admiral since we'd likely need to head to the hospital. The ultrasound confirmed a sack & fetal pole in my right tube (about 7 weeks), so we opted for the shot. The shot will basically stop the cells from generating and expel the pregnancy.

We headed right over to the hospital across the street and got up in a room right away.

I'm going to pause here and say my Heavenly Father truly knows me personally. The whole time I was calm, collected and detached. (Even from the start, Mr. and I weren't too emotionally attached which I truly believe was our spirits protecting us from heartbreak) I know I had help through this ordeal and still remain optimistic. Sure I cried, but I'm not depressed and without hope. I know I'll get pregnant again and we'll expand our family.

So my mom arrived to take The Admiral home for us & spend the night. They came in and gave me 2 shots in the belly, which didn't hurt AT ALL. The effect of the medicine disbursing though...Eesh. That was a little painful (stopped after 5 minutes). And then had my blood drawn for the 3rd time this week. And that was it.

So I'll have a heavy period this weekend and they'll monitor my hcg levels twice a week to make sure they're decreasing (it's possible I may need another round of shots but not likely).

The point of sharing my experience isn't to scare anyone trying to have children. I really wanted my good friends to know what happened and that I'm OK. I don't feel like this is the end of the world. There was never a 'baby' in there. And the doctor may have saved my life by insisting on all the tests she did. I'm truly grateful for my Heavenly Father & the Holy Ghost for comfort, great doctors who care about their patients, and the fact I already have a perfect little boy that I love dearly.

I've hummed or sang to myself this song quite a few times this week. It never fails to bring the spirit and give me peace of mind.

-Chorus-

The winds and the waves shall obey Thy will,
Peace, be still!
Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea,
Or demons or men, or whatever it be,
No waters can swallow the ship where lies
The Master of ocean, and earth, and skies;
They all shall sweetly obey Thy will,
Peace, be still! Peace, be still!
They all shall sweetly obey Thy will,
Peace, peace, be still!

- Master, the Tempest is Raging (Mary A. Baker)